A Survivors Story and Session

She is a survivor, a survivor of life. With a journey unlike the majority, her troubles started when she was just a little girl ina war torn world. it sounds like it should be a book, and it may very well be one day, for now, you can learn a bit about her journey through life and why she had a beauty session, and of course, enjoy the stunning  portraits! 

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Why Do you Want To Meet Me?

So you sent an email, or called me to find out more about pricing and about your session. I respond with some information and some questions for you so I can get to know you. I will also ask to meet up with you or set up a skype/google hangout or virtual meeting of some sort. I have on occasion been asked, Why? 

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Free Beauty Event | Tampa Boudoir Photographer

Sunday January 27th, J Morgan Images and Stephanie Paul kicked off the year with Pure Romance consultant Kathryn by hosting a FREE beauty event! When doing free events and offering free services, you have to expect people to take them for granted and basically cross your fingers depending on what it is you are offering. With 10 women booked for makeup, we were set and excited. I arrived an hour early to set up some simple backdrops and i brought some fun boudoir and glamour accessories like masks, flowers and tulle skirts that were a big hit. We had champagne and fruit and lots of snacks for anyone who came. Remember how i said cross your fingers and hope people show up? Well, we had 5 women show for makeup and a guest or two for support, and we had a great time! One of the beautiful ladies got photographed twice. She hung out all day for that. :) Kathryn showcased lots of great new products from Pure Romance and wow to all the stuff! Such fun intimate items, we laughed and made jokes and it was simply awesome. 

We do plan on doing this again in the future, so stay tuned when you can get a great deal on the opportunity to have your makeup done and new pictures too!

9 Naughty & Nice Gift Ideas | Tampa Boudoir Photographer

The holiday season is here, and everyone needs new gift ideas for their significant other(s). These gift ideas will help you to think a bit outside "the box" this year and bring a little naughty to your nice holiday season. Oh, and i'd like to add that this is not just for the end of the year. These gift ideas work all year round folks, who doesn't love random presents and to know that they are thought about all the time, not just on a holiday? Lets start out on the nice side and head south to the naughty side.

9.  This site has beautifully packaged products that although not so naughty, are most defintely nice! not to mention free shipping on any order over $45! Tokyo Milk

8. Everyone knows lingere is a sexy classic but really, the nighties look nice for all of 3 secs until you find yourself in the buff and the cute little number you just had on is crumpled on the floor. Why not try something sexy like personalized undies! A lace number that will find itself joining the 3 sec nightie but your lady can wear on a regular basis too! Hanky Panky

7. I bet you always wanted to learn or have your leading lady learn how to do the proper strip tease. Well wait no longer! Let Dita Von Teese, the queen of burlesque, teach you a thing or two in her easy to follow pictures included book, Stripteese.

6. These are a sexy classic, sex coupons not much else needs to be said about them! Coupons

5. A twist on monopoly for the couple who doesn't just want to jump right into it and would rather let their thoughts get carried away first. Just don't pull this one out instead of the original next family game night! xxxopoly

4. This one i can personally testify to being fun and super naughty. From role play to random bedroom romps this super secret make you feel like a spy will lead to fun adventures and great sex! 101 Sexy Nights

3.  Anything from This site looks absolutely delish and/or fun, but i would def check out this sexy mini kit for only $42! This site has everything from lingerie to sex toys to these yummy edible powders and so much more. This may very well be my favorite new naughty website! 

2. A very naughty gift for her because an orgasm with your lover isn't guaranteed every time...."Orgasm in a Box" and they even have a fun kit for him too! Everyone can win together or alone with these love kits from babeland.com! 

1. Pole Dance Lessons! Not only will she appreciate the workout it gives her, you will benefit from her newly gained confidence and flexibility! If you are in the Tampa area, check out Impulse Pole Dance Studio for great classes from beginner to advanced. They have multiple locations and are a great group of women! 

Of course this list isn't complete without my favorite option of all. Book your leading lady a complete Boudoir Session and you both win! She gets pampered with hair makeup wine and treats as well as a photo shoot and new found or rediscovered confidence and you receive an album of her beautiful images to always have. If she isn't around....you can still admire her beauty. Just contact me for more information! 

Think i missed something fun and list worthy? Add it in the comments below! I want to hear it and so does everyone else! 

Abused

This blog post is about ABUSE. Its not a heartwarming story, and it is not about anything I have personally known myself. But it is about someone I hold close to my heart, who’s tale I hear of from across the country. Her battle is an ugly one and my heart breaks every time I hear about the things she is going through, and I cry thinking about how she hasn’t found the courage YET, to step up and seek out help.

You know the saying “Love means never having to say your sorry,” well I want amend it a bit.

“Love never means having to say you’re sorry, but love won’t put you in the hospital or hurt you.”

Let me start off by saying abuse of any kind is not ok.

When you think of abuse, the first thing you think is battered women and children, or sexually assaulted women and children. [Yes men get abused as well, and I am not ignoring that fact, but my blog is about women, and this post in particular, is for women.] The next thing you possibly see in your head is fists, an angry face, maybe a broken home and from there your mind will wander. Let me direct your mind to the first signs that goes ignored so many times. Abuse doesn’t start with a fist in your face, It starts with words. It starts with Control. “No you can’t see that person anymore because of…,” or “why do you make me do this/that,” I only say these things/do these things because I love you.” “ Its your fault,” “You made me do this.” Of course the phrases don’t stop there. At this point there are probably names being called and include some of these: Fat, ugly, slut, whore, bitch are just a few names a women may be called in these situations. “Good for nothing,”  “do it and see what happens,” “I dare you to …,” “…or else.” Watch for things like closed fists and clenched teeth while hes is ‘speaking/yelling. Breaking things or being destructive towards things is a sign to get out…even if he hasn’t put his hands on you yet. It will happen, and you need to go. Get out NOW.

Those are just a few warning signs that I can think of and find through some research. I’ll link at the bottom.

Abusers take control of you your life, your actions, money and possessions. They somehow twist it to make it your fault, or make you feel guilty for wanting to leave the situation, and eventually its not guilt you feel, its fear. The fear builds over time as the abuse increases from verbal name calling and controlling to the breaking of things and destruction of the world around you, to the actual abuse of you.

The story I am watching from afar, this girl fears for herself and her son everyday, but pretends things are fine. She makes excuses for her boyfriend most of the time, “he’s tired from working all day,” “he just got fired so he’s just upset,” he’s really stressed out from not finding a job,” “the baby was up all night so boyfriend didn’t get much sleep.” She minimalizes the fact that he is treating her like crap and brushes it off like nothing. She knows that him hitting her is wrong. I came to find that she has been in an abusive relationship before and my heart breaks again. This girl, I still refer to her as a girl out of habit, she is a woman, feels like this is her only option. In the state she lives in, no one can help her if she doesn’t help herself. If she doesn’t come out and say hey, this dude is hitting me, threatening me, verbally abusing me, then no one will lift a finger to help, maybe its like this in all states, I do not know, but I don’t agree with it. I called the women’s crisis center in her state and they told me sorry, nothing can be done unless she comes to us! Everyone around her that knows pushes her to press charges against her boyfriend, yet she won’t. she promised me a couple of months ago, next time he put his hands on her, that, that was it and she was pressing charges…he has done it a few times since then…she doesn’t tell me these things much anymore, but I eventually hear them…she still doesn’t press charges. I stopped trying to involve myself because knowing I can do nothing from where I am, is heartbreaking and soul crushing. I even have taken to praying (and I am not religious at all,) for her and her son’s well being and safety.

This story of a girl, isn’t just a story, its real life. Her actual life of broken doors and broken things. A life of bruises and bumps. A story that she only remembers sometimes depending how hard she got her head slammed against a wall hours prior, only to wake on the couch with boyfriend gone, or maybe she just blocks it out and refuses to remember, maybe it’s a different kind of evil I won’t highlight in this story... A life she lives indoors majority of the time because she isn’t permitted to have a social life. She is slowly being secluded from family and friends. It’s a lonely world she is living in, especially when the people who try to help, keep getting shut out. She may hate me for telling a bit of her story, she may hate me now because of the people I have told of her very current life, but the only way I know to help her is by making sure people are aware of her situation. I want them to know so that when she comes to them for help, if she comes to them for help, that they can be there for her and her son. I would rather her hate me for a lifetime, than get a call that she is dead by the hands of her abusive boyfriend. I beg her, I beg you-woman reading this that are in similar situations-leave. If you have kids, grab them and get out. Go to a women’s shelter, or to a family members house. A friend’s house. Go anywhere you can that is away from the situation and get help. You will never change your abuser, he/she will keep getting worse. Get out NOW!

This young woman that is going through all of this, may read this, she may not. I hope that this will help someone out there stand up for themselves and get out of the bad situation they are in. I whole heartedly wish she would, but she is so broken from this abuse, from some of the poorer choices she has made that I think she is convinced herself that maybe she deserves this life? Or maybe there is no way out? I am here to tell you and her especially, all you have to do is reach out and we will help you. If you want help just ask someone that is not your abuser.

Even if I do not know you, I will try to help you. Take control of your life and leave, for your safety, your childs safety. For your future.

Picture a world where you aren’t being called names, where yelling isn’t the only form of communication. Picture a life where you can go out for a cup of coffee or to the movies or anywhere with friends without the fear of being beaten. Imagine a life that your only “fears” are of being late for work, or school, or getting a speeding ticket. Imagine a life where you call the shots and make your own choices, and don’t have the bruises and the lies holding you down. Imagine a home without holes in the walls and doors. Now, realize that the only way you are going to have that life, is if you stand up and leave the one you are in, don’t look back.

Here is a poem that I heard in highschool years ago, and it brings chills to me everytime I read it. I swore I would never fall victim to it, I never thought it would happen to someone so close to my heart.

I GOT FLOWERS TODAY

by Paulette Kelly

Dedicated to all battered women.

I got flowers today!
It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day;
We had our first argument last night; And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt;
I know that he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day;

Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me;
It seemed like a nightmare, but you wake up from nightmares to find they aren’t real.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Valentine’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me and threatened to kill me;
Make-up and long-sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time;
I couldn’t go to work today because I didn’t want anyone to know-but I know he’s sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today!
And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day;
Last night he beat me again, and it was much worse than all of the other times;
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money?
I’m afraid of him, but I’m too scared and dependent to leave him! But he must be sorry;
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today…Today was a very special day—it was the day of my funeral;
Last night he finally killed me—I was beaten to death;
If only I would have gathered the courage and strength to leave him;
The women’s shelter could have helped me, but I didn’t ask for their help;
So I got flowers today…for the last time.

Copyright 1992 c by Paulette Kelly

Sources:

http://www.thomashaller.com/pages/couples4.html

http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/get-help-for-violence/how-to-help-a-friend-who-is-being-abused.cfm

DO you need help?

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

If you know someone who is being abused, or if you yourself is being abused, reach out to someone, even me, for help. I will do what i can to help you. 

Feature Presentation: Tina | Tampa Boudoir Photographer

I decided that instead of just posting a quick picture of another beautiful women, that something more should be said; a little about each beautiful lady, and hopefully let you as the reader hopefully understand not only why i chose to go this direction with my photography, but why women want to have their pictures taken in this fashion. I am calling these posts Feature Presentations. If you have a great story behind why you want to have a Boudoir Shoot done with me, send me an email with your story and you could win a session for free! 

The first in my series of Features belongs to my friend Tina. She is a military wife, a mother of 2 and one of the strongest women i know, she makes great sweet treats and should really sell her icing for profit, knowing her though, she is more likely to sell it for charity. She is straight forward and real, and she, is a survivor. She survives her kids, (any parents know that is a challenge every day!) She survives  while her husband is away, (currently for 15 months,) i would crumble and fall but she stands tall and strong. She survives her animals and their crazy antics, but she is a survivor of one more thing, something that impacts so many women and families out there, Tina, is a breast cancer survivor.  She didn't let it bring her down, or give up, she just looked at it in her Tina way and said, "Really? I don't think so!" She fought the fight and won, she has the scars to prove it, and she wears them proud, because that is one hell of a battle to win. But here is her fight, in her words.

"My name is Tina and I had just moved to Germany with my Active Duty U.S. Air Force husband a month prior when I went to the DR to look at “The Lump” that I found a week prior to us leaving the US .  After we got settled and over the jetlag I went to the Dr and my world was turned upside down.  I was 36 yrs young when diagnosed with stage II Triple Negative breast cancer, 1 lymph node involved. I had a lumpectomy in July 2005 and started 6 rounds of chemo every 3 weeks in August 2005, my last chemo was November 18, 2005, day before my 37th birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!  I then started 6 wks Monday-Friday of radiation in January 2006.  My hair had finally started to grow back and I started to feel human again.  

We moved to Tampa in June 2008.  I never found an oncologist here to follow me, BUT, I continued to get my mammograms and gynecological exams on the same schedule I was on in Germany. 

In October 2010, my Mother got sick and was diagnosed with Metastatic lung cancer.  She unfortunately lost her battle 26 days after diagnosis.   Her oncologist had suggested we talk about me once we got everything taken care of for my Mother.  I went to see him in January 2011, during this time he recommended that I get tested for BRCA gene, and I ended up testing positive for BRCAII, which is the gene for ovarian and breast cancer.  SO, with that said, for me it was not a matter of IF it will come back, BUT a matter of WHEN.  I had also had a MRI of my breast and something suspicious was seen in my left breast, the initial diagnosis was all in my right breast.  I had an MRI guided breast biopsy.  The pathology came back with what we thought at the time were pre-cancerous cells.  At this point with the fact that I tested positive for BRCA II and the biopsy showing pre-cancerous cells I choose to have a bi-lateral mastectomy with reconstruction in May 2011.  It is now May 2012 and I have just finished with the second to last step in the reconstruction and I am PLEASED with the results.  I show my scars proudly ‘cause they are a HUGE part of who I am. "

Every women is beautiful, and the scars whether physical, mental or both, are simply apart of who you are and contribute to your beauty, don't let anyone tell you different. My friend Tina, is quite obviously, no exception to those words and i applaud her for being such a strong and Real women. Thank you for letting me photograph you! 

Veronica | Tampa Boudoir Photographer

So last week was a busy one, with 2 fantastic shoots with 2 good friends of mine. The first you get to preview is Miss Veronica! We had a ton of fun, and the evening flowed so smoothly. She was my first official non-model, REAL WOMAN photo shoot. Thank you Veronica for being a wonderful shoot and for being so confident-it really shows. Can you believe she had her 2nd child only a few weeks prior to this photo shoot! 

 

Be more Confident in General {Tampa Boudoir Photography}

Boudoir Photography is a belief that all women are beautiful. You are beautiful, believe it and no one can conquer you.  Try something simple like this to help boost your confidence. It doesn't involve crazy surgeries or the latest fountain of youth serum, but it does include you and a mirror. 

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